[u need to know]

GRIEF is a normal reaction to death. It is a full body experience that can cause physical, emotional, and spiritual pain.  For some people the pain is so intense that they become physically ill.  The reality about grief is that it is different for everybody.  You might feel deeply sad, needing to cry or you might feel numb or emotionless.  You might feel angry, act silly, have a huge urge to have fun, be confused, feel guilty or have a  sense of relief… all of which are part of the grieving process.

What you need to be careful about is that you might also have the need to try to escape the negative feelings by turning to dangerous stuff like drugs and alcohol, unprotected sex, cutting, reckless driving, etc.  The reality is that there is no escaping grief.  It is necessary for us to heal, and that takes time.  If we try to run away from it, it will catch up — and when it does, it will weigh heavy and the consequences  can be huge and awful, worse than what you’re feeling now. So my advice would be to let your feelings out, by talking or by writing.  In the end you will learn a valuable life lesson.

What to expect, ways to deal with the pain, and some advice:

  • Grief comes in waves – each wave gets a bit smaller with time.  Go with the flow and express your feelings: sadness, anger, etc.  You can do this through music, drawing, painting, photography, poetry, prose, dancing, sports, etc.
  • Find positive ways to act on your grief.
  • Make memorials to the one(s) you miss: keep a journal, make a memory box with pictures/letters/souvenirs, write a letter to the one you miss, etc.
  • Share with friends.  Reach out to those around you: parents, friends, teachers, counsellors, etc.  Keep those lines of communication open; don’t isolate yourself!
  • Keep your routines intact as much as possible.
  • Keep making plans for the future.
  • Take time to care for yourself! This may sound selfish, but you need to take special care of yourself.  For instance: take time to exercise, eat regular healthy meals, and get some rest.  If you have trouble doing any of these things, please visit the [When to ask for help] section.